why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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