when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
