Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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