All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
