Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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