So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
