I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
