Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
