No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
