Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
