Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
