I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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