What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
