Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
