Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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