Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
