My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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