Walk of Shame. In a state park.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
