Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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