Your face is a jimmy john
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
