Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
