This girl is more easily done than said...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
