I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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