I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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