Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
