After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
