Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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