how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
