Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
