Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
