So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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