she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
