Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
