Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
