that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
