Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
