Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
