You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
