You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
