ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He did a backflip because drugs
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