I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
