I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You are the jesus of drinking
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
