He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
