No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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