I think I won the penis lottery.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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