Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
