it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize