walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
