R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
