she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
