No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
