I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize