She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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