I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
