You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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