My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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