Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
