haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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