I'm lost and stupid without you.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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