She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Can Purell be used as lube?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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