then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
