I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
